


if you love me, don't let go

by decidueye



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confession, Fluff, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 12:50:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5540705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/decidueye/pseuds/decidueye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>four months after graduating and ignoring akaashi's confession, bokuto revisits fukurodani.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you love me, don't let go

**Author's Note:**

> written for [black-haze-fangirl](http://black-haze-fangirl.tumblr.com/) as part of my holiday fic fest on [tumblr](http://fukurokeiji.tumblr.com/post/133902851764/fukurokeiji-holiday-season-is-upon-us-and-im).

Keiji’s been waiting for this moment.

It’s been four months since the third years graduated, and Keiji still remembers the feel of Bokuto’s hand in his when he’d shaken it, and the way he’d clapped Keiji on the shoulder as he’d turned to next year’s team hopefuls.

“Listen to your new captain, everyone! He’s going to take you to nationals. I’ll see you all at summer camp, so you’d better work hard; no penalties!”

Of course, graduated students aren’t strictly allowed on the school grounds, even on holidays, and Keiji isn’t sure Bokuto is going to want to keep his promise anymore, considering what happened after… Still, Keiji spends the first two days of training camp with his eyes peeled, and notices some of the second years doing the same, telling their juniors about their legendary former captain.

“He was an idiot, but he was somehow inspiring, you know? And his spikes were amazing. Our team is nowhere near as good without him.”

Keiji doesn’t believe that’s true - refuses to believe it, really - but he misses him all the same. He’s just about given up hope (of course he’s not going to want to face Keiji, he’s probably embarrassed, probably guilty, probably - something) when he catches sight of a familiar shock of ash blonde hair entering the third gym, where he’s practicing with Hinata, Tsukishima, Lev and a handful of Fukurodani third years.

Bokuto meets his eyes for a second and then looks away, uncharacteristically hanging back until Hinata notices him with a cry of ‘Bokuto-san!’, and Keiji doesn’t acknowledge him even when their own third years go over to greet him, turning away from the sound of his brash laughter as he gives them all the gory details of college training.

“Is something wrong, senpai?” Tsukishima asks. He’s ignoring Bokuto too, for different reasons, and he’s as observant as ever, noticing Keiji’s discomfort. “Don’t you want to see Bokuto?”

Keiji shrugs, “I don’t think he’s going to want to see me.”

“Why not?”

_ Keiji had cornered Bokuto after the graduation ceremony. The whole team - former team, now - was going out for karaoke, but Keiji had cram school, and had refused all of Bokuto’s invitations to skip. There was something he needed to say, though, and now was the only chance he was going to get. Taking in Bokuto’s puzzled glances, his relaxed stance and his cheeks, still flushed from the merriment of graduation, Keiji steeled himself and took a breath. _

_ “I like you, Bokuto-san.” _

_ “That’s what you pulled me aside to say?” Bokuto laughed, breathless, and Keiji frowned. “You tease, sure, but that much has been obvious from the start. We wouldn’t be such a good combination if you actually hated me.” _

_ “I don’t mean that,” Keiji tried again, more insistent, and Bokuto looked startled, noting the seriousness in his tone. “I mean I like you. Now that we’re no longer captain and vice, and the team won’t be affected, I’d very much like it if we could date.” _

_ Bokuto had started, silent for longer than Keiji could ever recall him being, and he’d watched Bokuto’s throat bob as it worked to form a reply. Nothing came, and when Bokuto took two steps backwards, brow creasing in confused surprise, Keiji’s heart had sunk. _

_ “Woah, that’s...that’s really unexpected, Akaashi. I’m going to have to think about that, and everyone’s waiting...I can text you? Or call you, I’ll call you when we’re done, I promise.” _

_ Bokuto hadn’t called. The next day, Keiji received a short text -  _ ‘sorry’ -  _ and he didn’t hear from Bokuto again. _

“A number of reasons,” Keiji settles for replying, and Tsukishima shrugs.

“I don’t think he’d come to this specific gym if he didn’t want to see you,” he points out. “He knows you practice here - even if you didn’t, he would have hoped…”

“You’re too smart,” Keiji says after a moment’s pause. Tsukishima snorts, because he knows that it’s true. Keiji makes his way over to the other third years, who are listening to Bokuto explain a new method of spiking to Hinata, and clears his throat.

“You’ve got to stop teaching the opposing team new tricks,” Keiji says, and Bokuto stops mid sentence, looking at him with wide and startled eyes, as though he’d forgotten Keiji was in the gym entirely. “Teach it to our spikers instead.”

“Akaashi,” Bokuto pouts, and he still says Keiji’s name the way he used to - like it’s something precious. “You know I have to make an exception for Hinata.”

Hinata beams, and the crowd disperses when they’re summoned for dinner. Both Keiji and Bokuto hang back, tailing behind the others and ignoring Tsukishima’s smug glance back towards them. Keiji looks up at Bokuto, who’s still avoiding eye contact, and takes the chance to study him.

He’s even broader now, somehow, and his jawline has squared off - it’s obvious he’s training more rigorously than before, and even though Keiji’s upped his own hours at the gym, he still can’t keep up with him. There are bags under his eyes - from a social life or studying, Keiji can’t even begin to guess - and the energy surrounding him seems to have simmered to a nervous spark.

You can’t always build a team around one person, Keiji thinks. It’s probable that Bokuto has had to make sacrifices.

Bokuto’s head turns, and he catches Keiji staring. Keiji determinedly doesn’t flush; he’s not ashamed.

“So, Akaashi…” Bokuto starts, and then stops, mouth working. Keiji gets a painful sense of deja-vu. “You’ve - uh, changed. Grown.”

“I’ll catch up to you, soon,” Keiji says. He doesn’t believe it, but it lightens the mood; Bokuto laughs and claps him on the back.

“Yeah, sure you will!” he says, humouring, and then pauses. Keiji keeps walking forwards, heading to the cafeteria - he knows their coach will let Bokuto join them for dinner - but Bokuto grabs his shirt to stop him from moving, pulling him aside in the doorway of the gym.

“Did you want something?” Keiji asks coolly. Bokuto swallows. Keiji can feel his nerves, and they’re contagious. He wraps one hand around his thumb, waiting, patient. Bokuto opens his mouth and then groans, frustrated, running a hand through his hair and turning away.

“Ugh, this is ridiculous!” he exclaims, and Keiji is inclined to agree. “It’s pointless anyway, things won’t be the same. But I have to ask!” he turns to Keiji, speaking more quietly. “I have to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

“What you said...at graduation.” Bokuto says, haltingly, and Keiji takes in a breath. Here it comes. “Did you mean it?”

There’s a moment when Keiji thinks that he could take it all back with one word - that things could return to how they were before.

“Of course,” Keiji says. “I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

“Right,” Bokuto laughs nervously. “Of course you don’t, that’s what I like about you. I mean -”

Keiji raises an eyebrow, “the word isn’t taboo, Bokuto-san.”

“No! I know, I just meant - ah, shit, I’m not doing this right.”

“What are you trying to say?”

Bokuto stops, taking a deliberate breath, and Keiji watches his expression level. He speaks as if he’s rehearsed it before - Keiji wouldn’t be surprised if he had.

“When I didn’t call you, I felt so bad. I panicked, everyone was talking about college and I know Toudai is close but things still  _ change _ , you know, and they did change - I’ve changed - but I didn’t know if we could do it. And then I felt awful for not replying, so I didn’t speak to you, but it’s been bothering me for months now and Kuroo says I’ve got to get closure even if it seems pointless, so I wanted to tell you.”

“...Right,” Keiji replies. He’s still processing the words when Keiji realises that Bokuto’s looking at him, waiting for a response. “What did you want to tell me?”

“That I panicked! And my answer.”

Keiji tenses. He’s not sure that he wants to deal with rejection again - especially not when he knows Fukurodani is going to be talking about him for a week after this visit. He looks for an exit, but Bokuto has him pinned, wringing out his fingers and staring Keiji down.

“So what is it?” Keiji asks eventually, tired and ready to eat.

“I like you too, Akaashi,” Bokuto says, and Keiji has already begun the process of sighing, of telling Bokuto he knew, and it’s okay, when the words sink in.

“You  _ what? _ ”

“I like you. I think you’re amazing. And...I know I’ve missed my chance, but if I’d gotten to date you...well, that would have been great.”

Keiji pushes hard at Bokuto’s chest, sending him backwards.

“You _id_ _ iot _ ,” Keiji exclaims. “You kept me waiting all this time because you thought it was too late?”

“Yes! I just - wait, you’re saying it’s not?”

“It should be,” Keiji says, shaking his head. He can’t stop himself from smiling, though, warmth bubbling untempered in his chest. He almost wants to laugh - this situation is ridiculous, and so incredibly characteristic of Bokuto that he can’t stay mad at him. Not when this is the reason he fell for him in the first place.

“But…” Bokuto says, sheepish and tentative, and Keiji reaches for his hand, watching his own thumb stroke across Bokuto’s knuckles as he wets his lips.

“It’s not. I still like you, Bokuto-san. I want to date you.”

Bokuto laughs then, a loud, relieved sound that brings Keiji’s own laughter to the back of his throat, spilling from his mouth when he opens it. Flushing, Bokuto grips Keiji’s hand tighter, stepping forward purposefully and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before murmuring.

“You’d better drop the ‘-san’, then, Akaashi. I don’t want to feel like your captain anymore.”

Keiji looks at him, their noses almost touching, still biting down the smile that wants to spread across their features, and nods.

“Okay. Let’s join the others, Bokuto.”

  
  
  



End file.
